In what can only be described as a historic moment in the self-help industry, a sharply dressed man stood before the public and delivered a life-changing message:
“Don’t compare yourself with others… everyone is better than you.”
Crowds were left speechless, unsure whether they had just been insulted, enlightened, or both.
Eyewitnesses reported that several people immediately canceled their gym memberships, threw away their journals of “positive affirmations,” and replaced their vision boards with photos of cats wearing sunglasses.
One attendee confessed, “At first, I thought he was going to say something uplifting, like ‘you are unique’ or ‘believe in yourself.’ But nope, he just confirmed what my boss has been hinting at for years.”
Psychologists are already calling this “reverse motivation.” Instead of boosting self-esteem, it lowers expectations to such a degree that people suddenly feel… oddly relaxed.
“Think about it,” said one expert. “If everyone’s better than you, you can stop trying. No pressure. Just order pizza, binge-watch Netflix, and accept your destiny.”
In the aftermath of the speech, sales of ice cream skyrocketed, therapists reported shorter sessions (“You’re right, doc, I am the worst, so let’s just skip to the coping strategies”), and one guy was spotted wearing a T-shirt that read: ‘World’s #8 Billion.’
Critics argue the message is demoralizing. Supporters claim it’s the most honest piece of advice since “Don’t eat yellow snow.”
Whatever the case, one thing is clear: the man in the suit has officially changed the game of motivation—by ending it.
